I'm tired of people falling in love with me. I know that sounds conceited, but somehow it keeps happening.
Why do people want me? I'm not that great. I'm just a big joke. I come off all sweet and intelligent and charismatic... But I'm a fake. No one feels right for me.
I'm sick of people telling me that I'm beautiful. I'm tired of people smiling at me in that absurd way that appears as if they want everything I can give them and more. I'm tired of people building me up to be something I'm not and sitting me on a giant pedestal.
I just... Can't stand being loved. I want people to hate me. Perhaps if people hate me, it will be easier to hate myself... Then self destruction wouldn't be such a crime.
If people keep falling for me like this... Well... Damn. I'm going to become pretty damn full of myself. I don't want to be that way. I don't want to be drained of sincerity.
In order to be sincere I have to be able to see my flaws. I have so many.
I wonder what it is that everyone else sees...
Does anyone see my tarnished persona? Do they love me anyway, even with all these impurities and mistakes? How? How can anyone love this disgusting being?
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