"All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications you could do without
When I kissed you on the mouth."
-Sufjan Stevens


Is it really so much easier to just give up?
What am I fighting for anyway?
I'm so tired. So fucking tired.

But I don't want to give up.
I'm not going to give up.
You make me happy.
And I'm going to fight for that.
I'm going to fight for the right to make you happy as well.

I don't care how fucking complicated things get.
And I don't care if I get hurt in the process.
Just so long as I can make you happy somehow.

Done.

Oh man. I fail at life.

Might as well just give up.

I'm tired of being strung along.
I'm tired of the drugs.
I'm tired of the people.
I'm tired of the parties.
Feels like I'm just going no where at this point.
I'm so fucking sick. Emotionally and physically...

And well... Mentally even.

I'm just so fucking done with all of this.
I don't know how much more I can handle.

I'm being used and abused and battered to a pulp.
By everyone. By life itself. By me.

What am I worth? Am I worth anything at all? No. Nothing really.

I'm fucking done.

"You have Killed me"

I should have never given you the chance to destroy me.
I should have known you would actually use it against me.

It's not your fault.
It's my fault.
I really do fail at life.
Goddamn me for being so stupid.

You turn everything around

It's weird how I was feeling so terrible...

My dog died. My computer crashed. I was feeling sick. And I was feeling anxious and emotionally drained. And suddenly, you come around, and everything is better again.

I can't explain the way you make me feel. It's beyond reasoning. I shouldn't be into you. I'm not supposed to be this into you...

But there you have it; you now hold in your hands the ability to destroy me piece by piece. I'm vulnerable now. I'm open and exposed.

And it's all just for you. I'm doing this for you.

My substance abuse is getting out of hand.

I'm unbelievably depressed right now. And I wonder if jumping off a bridge could help me feel better?

Feels like I'm going no where and I'm just making things worse for myself day after day after day.

I want to give up. There's no solution.