Splitting in two

Reality is splitting itself from my spine.
I can feel my ribcage crackeling beneath the weight of this solidarity between myself and those I love. It's too much to protect, too much to keep up with.

I see these stop lights passing me by at the speed of so many miles per hour.
And I wonder if I've been here. But I know I haven't... And I doubt my memory. And if I can't trust my memory... Then what can I trust?

I trust nothing. And I trust no one... And the weight of this solitude is nailing me to the floor... And I'm caught in an emeasurable expanse of thoughts and disillusion and indescribable phenomenon.

I can't fucking stand this. These fucking fuzzy lights in the corners of my eyes... And that random displacement and disorientation that comes over me suddenly when I feel like I'm in a completely different world. I feel so disconnected. And unwanted here. And So lost. So very very lost.

It's okay though. I have something special to hold onto. I have someone to love and hold and cherish... And that somehow makes everything better.

I almost don't care about where I am half the time. I don't care if I talk to myself or whatnot... Because there's someone there that I can depend on. And I feel safe. I feel secure. And I feel loved. I feel beautiful... Because someone accepts me for what I am. And it doesn't matter what society expects of me.

I think I'm actually happy for the first time in a while...
Even when things are a little strange.
I'm just fucking happy. And nothing can take that away from me.