Escape

No matter how hard I try to escape it...
Everywhere I go, those people, and those vile things find me. Everywhere I battle the possibility of another relapse.

Drugs. Everywhere. And it's not as if it matters whether it is my drug of choice or not. Anything can send me right over the edge.

Spring break only lasted the span of one week. And I am so ashamed to admit, that I decided to "make the best of it" and "go all out". Why not? It was just one week. Fooling around with drugs once every great while isn't going to draw me right back in, is it?

So it went something like this:

Thursday - Somas, Vicodines, and Oxy
Friday - Beer, tons of Jager, and Oxy
Saturday - Soma and Oxy
Sunday - More Drinking
Monday - Heroin and Speed
Tuesday - Weed and Cocaine
Wednesday - More Speed
Thursday - Finally sober for a little bit
Friday - Lots and lots of beer, Vodka, and Jager
Saturday - Two Ecstasy pills
Sunday - More Jager
Monday - Dropped an Adoral

Okay.... Not gonna lie... I think my binge did spill out of Spring Break a little bit. But... It's Thursday now and I haven't done anything since Monday.

I don't want to relapse. I really really really don't want to relapse.
But... I don't know how much longer I want to stay sober.
I'm already spiraling. Why not just go all the way?

I need an escape. I need a fucking escape.